NO POSITION IS PERMANENT

NO POSITION IS PERMANENT

Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua

 

Whenever I think about the state of affairs in the world especially when some people live without the fear of God by allowing their greed, power and corruption to run aghast, I recall the wise counsel of Psalm 49. “Hear this, all you people; give ear, all you inhabitants of the world: Both low and high, rich and poor, together. My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding. I will incline my ear to a parable: I will open my dark saying upon the harp. Why should I fear in the days of evil, when the iniquity of my heels shall compass me about? They that trust in their wealth, and boast about their riches; None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him: For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceases forever. That he should still live forever, and not see corruption. For he sees that wise men die, likewise the fool and the brutish person perish, and leave their wealth to others. Their inward thought is, that their houses shall continue forever, and their dwelling places to all generations; they call their lands after their own names. Nevertheless, man being in honour abides not: he is like the beasts that perish. Their way is their folly: yet their posterity approves their sayings. Like sheep they are laid in the grave; death shall feed on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning; and their beauty shall be consumed in the grave from their dwelling. But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Do not be afraid when one is made rich, when the glory of his house is increased; For when he dies he shall carry nothing away: his glory shall not descend after him” Psalm 69: 1-17). 

Given the human and natural resources of Nigeria for instance, one could conclude that no citizen should live in penury. If every Nigerian cares about legacy and a good name, the energy in human and natural resources would generate the capacity that is humanly possible to alleviate the pains, stress and distress of the people. Unfortunately, the greed of the few has become the poverty of the multitude. Some office holders hardly remember that no condition and position is permanent. The effect is that the opportunities to grow a better nation are misdirected towards evil and crime. Some people live as if this world is essence of existence. Those who amass wealth at the expense of the common good live without a sense of eschatology. They forget that one day, they would die and after that judgement follows. The world could be better if everyone is conscious of death, eternal punishment in hell for those who do evil and eternal reward in heaven for the righteous. It is spiritual blindness not towish for the capacity to do what is good and just. It takes tobelieve in the common good of humanity to desire a better life for everybody. This is what it takes to collaborate with the leadership of the nations to create enough and conducive space for every human being to actualize their dreams and potentials.  

Human beings need the space to be formed and blossom. Apart from the efforts of parents and teachers to impart knowledge at all levels to the children, the students need some guarantee of a future where their dreams would have incarnated into reality. The greatest tragedy in the world today is the neglect of merit and efficiency. The attitude of “not what you know but who you know” must die a natural death to give life to every person. It is sad that a note from a Senator or any highly placed person has become the main credential for candidates who are invited for interview or aptitude test to gain employment. Worst still, money is extorted from jobless applicants to be given employment. Sometimes, this money is collected without offering a job to the applicant.  

Parents do not want their children to suffer, hence they make huge sacrifices to train them. Those who forget that no condition and position is permanent should not kill the future and dreams of the youths. Every person should take a step into his or her heart to examine how we each contribute to human development and national growth. Are we ready to individually accept theblame for our sins of commission or omission in the collective growth of the nation? The world can be healed if office holders are conscious of the fact that one day they will cease to be President, State governor, Senate President, Bishop, Major Superior, Religious leader and a Very Important Persons (VIP). If there is failure in governance at any level, those who had the privilege and opportunity to run the affairs of government must have thought that they would be in office forever. Those who are conscious of the temporality of office and life naturallyendeavour to make a positive mark while in office. This disposition includes responsibility and accountability. 

Leadership implies quality service that calls for qualified people in specific jobs. The need for courage to use aptitude test to place people in positions where they can perform and the courage to remove those who are not performing up to expectation is absolutely important. Those who are conscious that no condition and position is permanent in the form of checks and balancing ensure that they do not fall from their height like the storming rain. Those who love to sustain their integrity now and the future constantly re-examine their vision to change any negative attitude to redefine their values. Those who have no regard for their good names do not care about professionalism in carrying out the mission that would benefit the common good. Every responsible leader needs examination and re-examination of the psyche, attitude, orientation and world view. This is one way of conquering or healing the syndrome of “finger pointing” and blame transference to acceptance of guilt and failure. Naturally, human beings find it difficult to accept guilt and take responsibility for their actions. 

Those who do not accept blame and correction live in the dark and fight to put others in the dark. Jesus came to give light to those in darkness, those who dwell in the shadow of death and guide us into the way of peace” (Luke 1:76-79). He thought his disciples not to resist those who do evil (Matthew 5:38-42) by vengeance as practiced by the Jewish ancestors who believed in “eye for eye and tooth for tooth” (Matthew 5:38; Exodus 21:24). The desire of Jesus for human beings is to be at peace with one another (Mark 9:50). This is why we should leave those who exploits others when they are in office to God. When they leave office, the depth of darkness of loneliness will teach them how to value opportunities. Very often it is too late to change when the head is off for office holders who sell their heads to buy a cap. When God gives you opportunity to serve, remember that when you leave office, it is the legacy you left behind that would be your companion. Opportunity comes but once so do not take your chance for granted. 

Rev. Fr. Cornelius Omonokhua is the Executive Secretary of Nigeria Inter-Religious Council (NIREC -nirec.ng@gmail.com) & The Secretary General of the West Africa Inter-Religious Council (WA-IRC – wairc.rfp@gmail.com).

 

 

 

OKHIFO OMONOKHUA

OKHIFO OMONOKHUA DIED ON APRIL 19, 1999. May his gentle soul Rest In Peace forever! 

PREPARING CHILDREN FOR PARENTING

PREPARING CHILDREN FOR PARENTING

Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua

 

Some time ago, I received this sad and distress call. “Please Father, tell my wife that marriage is different from courtship.”  I was wondering whether my friend needed me to arrange another marriage course for them, after two years of marriage. Onfurther enquiring, the truth was very pathetic. When Andrew and Agnes were preparing for marriage, they enjoyed eating in restaurants, gardens and all kinds of expensive hotels. When Andrew visited Agnes during their courtship, it was the maids that always cooked and served the food. It did not occur to Andrew to request his wife to be, to cook a meal one day for them to eat. Even when Agnes visited Andrew in his house, he would enter the kitchen and prepare a favorite meal just to show how much he cherished and loved his future wife. The parents of Andrew were not materially rich but they were rich in influencing their child's social skills. Andrew’s infant activities were managed, monitored and regularly evaluated by his parents. Andrew’s domestic skills were patterned in accordance with the experiences of the parents who regularly interacted with the children. For Andrew’s parents the kitchen was not meant only for the girls. Both boys and girls cook in turns. This was how Andrew was exposed to the environment that shaped his life and behaviour. 

 

Agnes could not boil even water because she was not exposed to the culture of domestic work. The rich parents made life “comfortable” for her. All she was exposed to was read her books and enjoy her meals. The parents employed domestic workers who cook, do the children’s laundry and clean the house. Although Agnes made first class in European history, she completely lacks natural intelligence and traditional wisdom. Agnes’ parents expressed love to the children by telling them how much love they have for them. The parents played with the children, called them pet names, made sure they obeyed the bedtime routine and prayed with the children. They assured the children that they could depend on them for safety as long as they lived. They gave the children the impression that all they would need in life is already saved and stored. Although Agnes’ parents had time for the children and provided every material comfort, they failed to allow the children to grow to attain independence, success and authentic maturity. For Agnes’parents, work is punishment, child labour and child abuse. The children were not prepared to manage their homes in the future. The children got everything except training in home management and future parenting. The children also were deprived of leadership skills and the value of service. 

 

Good parenting includes the authority of the parents to elicit obedience and respect from the children. A good parent does not spare the rod to spoil the child. The parent must provide behavioral guidelines that would help the children in the future. Good parents know when to appreciate children and when to punish them. The challenges of the marriage between Andrew and Agnes reminds me of the Indian concept of growth, progress and success. The parents of Agnes made progress in growth but they were not successful in the Indian context. There aredifference between growth, progress and success. Growth is increase in business, money and material prosperity, but that is not success. If increase in material possessions is aided by ethics, that is progress. Growth plus ethics makes up progressbut that does not lead to success which is made up of progress, humanity, morality and spirituality. If you have billions of money in your account and you are not happy, you have just grown. Success includes stability, happiness, peace and progress in the things that provides abundant and fulfilled life.

 

In African context, success includes home training and traditional social etiquettes. Looking back to the African traditional culture, Alhaji Ishaq Kunle Sanni has this to say: “Until we go back to our traditional values and jettison Western immorality, through using our institution of learning and religious organizations especially at the early age we would never get it right. Ordinarily you should expect children to speak their local languages and dialects at home, but the pathetic situation is that some only understand the languages but hardly speak it. In the days of old, when you wake up in the morning, the first rule for the child is to go and prostrate for the parents as a mark of respect and they would pray for the child. Females were taught how to manage the home. They help with cooking and other domestic chores and works. Unfortunately, house helps now do that in many homes. The result is that you now have brides who are liabilities to their husbands because they don’t know how to cook. Many marriages have broken down when the untutored brides want to arm twist the husband to employ a house help.” Also a husband that lacks home training is a danger to the family stability. The wife and children are not safe under his brutality and failure. 

 

That a husband and wife refuse to separate even in the face of compatible incompatibility because of the children, reveals the best in a parent that believes in endurance. Many women refuse to divorce their husbands just for the sake of the children. They know that single parenting is not often the best option. The father and mother have a joint and divine responsibility to provide an enabling environment for the children to grow gracefully and have life in abundance. Father and Mother jointly need to spend time with the children with their energy, financial means, moral disposition and spirituality. This is a primary responsibility for the nuclear family. The contribution of the extended family to child formation is minimal especially now that some families live in fenced houses. The life of witness by the parents is absolutely imperative because children learn from what they see the parents do. Example is the best teacher for the children because they can easily inherit the character traits of the parents. This means that the parents must provide an enabling environment for the child to grow and be influenced positively. 

 

Parents, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged (Colossians 3:21). Do all that is humanly possible to promote the mental health of the child. Allow your children to learn your local language as this would make them grow in the categories that could assist them in emotional development. One of the steps to enslave a people is to take away their local language that best express their cultural and traditional values. The academic skills of the child are better formed when the child has a comparative culture. The crisis of democracy in African nations today is lack of African contextual governance. Trying to lead and govern any nation in foreign categories couldend in anarchy. Europe and America cannot succeed with African community system of governance just as the African nations are finding challenges in governing African nations with foreign system of democracy with colonized minds, attitudes and values. The parents of Agnes belonged to this class of colonized minds. The values of African hospitality, sacredness of life and care for the common good has given way to greed and selfishness. It has become difficult to manage governance in the spirit of African communal paradigm in many African countries. In preparing children for parenting, parents must never forget that these children are the leaders of tomorrow. For these children to become good leaders in the nation, they must first learn how to be managers of their individual homes (1 Timothy 3:4).

 

Rev. Fr. Cornelius Omonokhua is the Executive Secretary of Nigeria Inter-Religious Council (NIREC -nirec.ng@gmail.com) & The Secretary General of the West Africa Inter-Religious Council (WA-IRC – wairc.rfp@gmail.com).