THE REVIEW OF LORETTA ODUWARE OGBORO-OKOR
“I AM MY FATHER’S DAUGHTER”
BY
Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua
The book, “My Father’s Daughter” is written by Dr. Mrs. Loretta Oduware Ogboro-Okor in 2018. It is published and printed by BookSale. Peters Owolabi did the cover design. The book has 103 pages with a foreword by Charles Ajayi-Khiran, a prolong, fourteen unequal chapters and an epilogue. This work is dedicated to the father of the author who taught her to “dine with Kings and eat with Paupers”; her mother who nurtured her“with love and grace un-paralleled”; her husband in whom she is “well pleased;” her children, who continue to help herconnect life’s dots and to all her numerous friends. The author salutes those who may not wish her well because their hatred has provided her wings to fly like the eagle.
This book is very unique with a style that portrays wholeness, a synonym of integrity. The book has no table of contents and numbers of chapters hence it gives a flow of unbroken love between daughter and father. Each narrative ends with the samerefrain: “I am my father’s daughter. I am unapologetic about it.” The book has no references and bibliography. It is a narrative from the heart and a personal story of Etta about Pa. Richard, her darling father who knows the difference between Loretta and Etta. When Pa. Richard calls the author by the name, Loretta, that indicates that the issue is serious. Otherwise, the author is often addressed, Etta, a pet name that signifies a relaxed and robust moment.
The prologue is a eulogy that is couched with metaphors, onomatopoeia and literary genre that describes the ancient Bini Kingdom in the context of modern civilization that has metamorphosed into “Benin, the ancient city of the Ogisos, theland of the Obas, home to a people of heritage so rich in culture that their tales of splendour abound on the internet and in history books.” Loretta was conscious of the fact that the euphoria and nostalgia for Benin could distract her from the main theme of the book. Nonetheless, Benin serves as a focal context for the operations of her dear father. The modus operandi (mode of operation) and the modus vivendi (law of operation) of this book is parenting. The characters of the book show the dynamics of relationships between father, mother and daughter. That Loretta deliberately chooses herself as a focus does not mean in any way that the father did not love the other children.
The author introduces the readers to the unconditional love and care of her father who would risk the rains and red muddy floodto pick her from school. The prologue ended with the official presentation of her father, Richard Harold Osaroguiwa Ogborobut refers to as Pa. Richard in the rest of the book. Nonetheless, it is worth remembering that “Osaroguiwa”, meaning “God is wealth” forms the rhythm of the entire book. God who is wealth and the great provider for the family of Richard HaroldOsaroguiwa Ogboro guided, guarded and provided for the family in a way and manner that Loretta did not have any reason to fall apart or run a wrong course that would have violated the path of honour and integrity put in place by hergreat father even after he had departed to join the ancestors. The winds and storms of life did not enable the author to fall prey to the predators of bad counsel and erotic advances to survive on transient wealth through deceitful pity. Pa. Richard was never culturally alienated and would not stand to have children who would be cultural hermaphrodite. That is to say, children who are neither fully Africans nor fully Europeans.This is evident in the way and manner the author communicates her thoughts even in her native Benin language.
Having presented the father in the prologue, the author proceeds to give a bio data of her father, Pa Richard who was a Prince,“yet he lived for the people, dined with the people and winedwith kings.” The genealogy presented by the author begins fromPa. Richard who was born in 1920 through the great Ogboro to the great Oba Ovoranmwen who was exiled to Calabar by the British colonial masters. Pa. Richard Ogboro attended Government School in Benin City, Methodist Boys High School Oron (Akwa Ibom State), Durham University in Newcastle and Oklahoma State University in the United States of America with sponsorship by the World Health Organisation. He became aSanitary Health Engineer and Public Health Consultant. He wasone of the first Nigerians to obtain a fellowship with the Royal Society of Health Inspectors Education. He developed his capacity in a way and manner that he became the Head of the Epidemiology Unit of the Ministry of Health Benin City.
Pa. Richard became dedicated to the service of humanity with a determination to maintain value for human life at all levels. He took his work of Public Health and Preventive Medicine to the grass roots by working in Burutu, Bomadi, Forcados and Auchi. He was the first foundation acting Principal and Instructor of the School of Health Technology at Dumez Road in Benin City, Edo State and head of the Malaria Eradication/Control Unit of the Ministry of Health in the then Bendel State. He did his work with dedication and integrity with minimal supervision. He believed in auto-formation and so developed himself with adequate capacities for his work. He passed to his children his philosophy of life as shown in the life of the author that we can actually use here as a case study of how Pa. Richard carried out his fatherly role in parenting.
The daughter has grown to become Loretta Oduware Ogboro-Okor. She was born on a Saturday evening in the late seventies. Her mother was not his first wife. Her closeness to the father must have created a space for her to ask her father why he married more than one wife in what she called “serial monogamist” with the mother as the last bus stop. The father being a man of dialogue opened up to her about how he missed his very first love that have turned out to be divine providence.Otherwise the author we are celebrating today would not have been born. There are things Pa. Richard did to influence the daughter Loretta. Among these are bed time stories and all kinds of literature that expose the author to the world of books of different fields and discipline.
Apart from the world of books was the world of electronic and print media especially the British Broadcasting Corporation(BBC) and Voice of America (VOA). The father of the author thus exposed the children to the radio and television news times. Loretta appears to be an enquirer and researcher with the father who was ready to answer any question. She says: “I cannot remember any question I asked my father that he did not answer. It did not matter how trivial or how difficult the question appeared to be; he always found the time and patience to answerme.” She gave some examples to buttress this fact.
In the narrative, “When The Foundation Is Rock Solid”, the author reported how her father trained her to discover her true and real self. This was a counter reaction to her Primary schoolcolleagues who bullied her and made fun of her physical looks. She developed this solid foundation of the content of her being.Today, Dr. Loretta has turned out to be a woman of granite substance in body, mind and spirit. This she captured as “Building on the Rock” that was a “Solid Foundation.” With the scolding of her father for looking inside the wallet of her aunt, the author learnt the true meaning of contentment, self-confidence in a way and manner that some may not understand even in adulthood. The author learnt not to fret at the wealth of others as if you must possess something just because another person has it. Pa. Richard taught her daughter to avoid greed with the episode of straining her head to admire a passing car. The father told her daughter, “Physical poverty is easy to correct my daughter. However, poverty of the mind and soul is something that mortgages men and women for eternity. It prevents their growth and the actualisation of their true potential. To truly actualise your calling in life, you must levitate above poverty of the mind and soul.”
When the Flower blooms, it is because the plant is being watered is a narrative of the progress in education of Loretta. Her father formed her to grow gracefully and celebrated her admission on the merit list to do her secondary school educationin one of the best schools then, namely “Federal Government Girls College Benin City (FEDIBEN)”. She narrated her first and subsequent experiences of the good and the ugly in FEDIBEN. She worked hard academically and got excellent results. She remained firm, resolute and constant in academic excellence even when her father objected to her joining the ‘gifted ones’ in Suleja. Her father told her: “Spread your wings my daughter - spread them beyond the four walls of any school. You do not require any school to reinforce your ‘giftedness’ for it lives in you and you will take it way beyond our shores one of these days”. She responded “I shall spread it worldwide!” She started writing early in life and while in college she already had a focus on medicine. Her mission which eventually included literary works and other gifts she exhibited never distracted her from reaching the vision of being a medical doctor. This Japanese proverb is being proven right today: “Vision without action is a day dream; action without vision is a nightmare
On the reflection on, how to Be Left Handed in A Right-handed World, the author appreciates her father for the gift of listening and for training her to assert her dignity with the capacity of becoming anything she wanted to be in life. She gave a comparative narrative of her father and mother. While the mother believes in not sparing the rod to spoil the child, her father operates at a level we can today call non-violence to the child. Just to use the children’s language here, they used to say: While “mummy will only pull our ears and swing us from side to side”, daddy would “preach daily till thy kingdom comes”. The effects of these is a balance that makes the children authentic and real to life.
On the narrative of “When The Bubble Bursts”, she discovered that all parents are not like her parents. Every father is unique and different in parenting. Pa Richard has this to say in this regard: “You see my dear children; every family has what works for them. Do not be alarmed when you meet other people and they do not live like us. What works for them is different. Thatis what makes society unique. However, for you to be unique insociety, you must maintain those values that promote our shared humanity – those everyday things that money and position cannot buy, make you stand out. Treat any one around you with dignity and respect irrespective of class or creed. Always value yourself and understand your self-esteem without being proud.”The foundation of the author was so strong that the differences she encountered in other families could not scandalize her.
Growing up without Pa. Richard was a challenging phase in the life of Loretta. She reported in the narrative titled “Growing up early” that her world collapsed when her father died in 1997. She was a third year medical student then. She narrated the events that followed the decision of the funeral and how her father was buried. She acknowledged many relatives and friends who promised to offer assistance but never did. “A loud silence” descended on the young family. Her poor mother was devastated. The experiences taught the young Loretta the value of resilience and perseverance. She refused to compromise her body for any earthly gains no matter the difficulties. This she captured in the narrative she titled, “Surviving Societal Stereotypes”. Here the ideal Benin woman is revealed in the struggles of our dear author in making right choices. She never forgot whose daughter she is. Not even poverty could make her tarnish her sense of self-worth.
Loretta narrated her “Medical School Experience” with keen interest because “it spanned a difficult yet unique period” of herlife. In spite of serious challenges, she resolved to complete herstudies without compromising her self-worth and human dignitywhich her father had infused in her. She remained grateful to all her benefactors even the one who out of human frailty made lustful demands which our author vehemently refused to offer. Loretta could not be seduced even with a bag filled with money. She remained her father’s daughter and she is unapologeticabout it.
In the narrative of her “Medical School Exposure”, the author revealed her encounter with different kinds of men with varied motives. Among these were lecturers. Some were kind while others wanted only sex like her benefactor. Out of all these people, there was one who protected her from being devoured by the sex predators. This narrative flows into the “friends that made a difference and the haters that propel”. One could wonder why the author did not want to marry having been formed to be an ideal. Perhaps she could have been scared with the discovery that all men are not like her father. She was scared of being yoked to a man who would not comprehend her real self. This actually got her mother worried.
Eventually, Loretta encountered a man who understands “the me in me” in her. In the process of “seeking greener pastures”, Loretta was locked into a relationship by this man who turned out to be the friend “with the locked hair”. In brief, this man became her husband. This marriage between Douglas and Loretta has been successfully locked by grace for over fifteen years. The search for a greener pasture led the author and her husband Douglas Okor to the United Kingdom. Both of them are successful medical doctors. Their children are still growing gracefully. To the glory of God, the mother of the author is still alive. I have told Loretta to write another book with the theme: “My Mother’s Daughter.” I hope this book will be presented while mama is still living.
Dr (Mrs) Loretta Okor concluded her book with the epilogue. Here the pedagogy of her father is alluded to again. “Pa Richardused to tell me “Each one of us is born for a purpose.” “We areborn into our families and our countries for a reason. It is no co-incidence that we are who we are and born when and where we were born.” Now Loretta understands clearly that life is better when you make others happy. I guess Pa. Richard must be celebrating in heaven today akin to a good teacher who appreciates the performance of the good student.
African parents pray for their children to do better than them just as true Nationalists echo and say that the youths are the leaders of tomorrow. It is my prayer that whatever, the author has gained from the parents, she will impart onto her children and other children of this generation. This book is rich in contents. All who value the gift of true parenting should have a copy. I say this because no child is born a criminal and no child is born a saint. Children become the effect of the parents and the society that form them. I congratulate Loretta for writing this book akin to Ann Taylor poem, “My Mother” who sat and watched my infant head when sleeping on my cradle bed. Loretta has done a great thing for her father and all the fathers that exist on earth. “I am my father’s daughter. I remain unapologetic about it.” Thank you!
Rev. Fr. Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua is the director of Mission and Dialogue, Catholic Secretariat of Nigeria.
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