REFLECTIONS ON MY MISSIONARY JOURNEY BY Sr: Esther Nseobong Ekpo DC

REFLECTIONS ON MY MISSIONARY JOURNEYS

Sr. Esther Nseobong Ekpo DC

                                               

JANUARY 2013

DEDICATION

This work is dedicated to GOD who loved me before and even as he created me; my parents – CHIEF ENGINEER GEORGE EKPO AND MADAME PHILOMENA EKPO who received me happily from God and since then cared for me with much love.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication.............................................................................

  Acknowledgement....................................................................

Forward.................................................................................

Introduction............................................................................

Before the Rising Sun................................................................

Come to Me............................................................................

Here I Am.............................................................................

         God in the Psychiatry 

(‘In love with the mentally ill’)............................................

                        A tribute to the Providence Home.............................

                           The real Missionary Preparation.............................................

                           Rosalie Home, Eleme ..........................................................

        Eeken – Ogoniland..................................................................

                          Life in Ossiomo...................................................................

                          Mission in Nouna..............................................................

       Where is God in all these......................................................

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

To what extent do I sincerely thank God enough for the mystery of my life and the gift of my vocation! To you oh God I lift the cup of salvation and continue to call upon your name.  My parents Chief Engineer George Ekpo and Mrs. Philomena George Ekpo deserve my heartfelt appreciation for accepting the responsibility to be co creators with God in bringing me to life. In their honour I put these reflections in a book to show how they inspired and nurtured my gracious faith. For giving me the eagle wings to fly in search of my destiny and the freedom to dwell therein as my solemn abode, I thank you my dearly beloved “Papa” and “Mama”. My beloved sisters and brothers; my brother and sister-in-laws; my lovely nieces and nephews, thanks for your support and encouragement. May God bless you immensely!

A time like this rings the memory to recollect the inexhaustible list of people who have played a role in my pilgrim way. Sometimes a simple “thank you” is not enough yet these flowers of thanks spread like the winter snow to Sr. Gloria Aniebonam, DC, provincial of the Daughters of Charity, Province of Nigeria; Sr. Theresa Eke, DC for reading this work and making the relevant corrections; Sr. Francesca Edet, DC, for believing in me and sending me to Burkina Faso for this ongoing missionary experience and Fr. Linus Umoren, CM for editing this work

To my childhood formators, Mr. Donald Sebastian Inyang, Late Mr. Peter Inyang of good memory, late Mr. Patrick Willie, thanks a million and for those who have departed this world, may your souls rest in perfect peace.  Dear Jesus, as I thank my formators in the community as a Daughter of Charity, I also pray that you bless them: Sr. Nora Lally, DC; Sr. Felicia Ezeimo DC; Sr. Franca Opara, DC and Sr. Margaret Mary Ekanem, DC; I appreciate the energy you “burnt” to imbue in us the Vincentia spirituality. My different superiors at various times, for the many chances given to me to grow in the faith and wisdom, I lift up my hands in thanksgiving to God for you. I am indeed grateful.  Am grateful to my community for the different aspect of the missions I have been exposed to, which have enriched me and have built me up in my missionary journeys.

A reverse to my home front! My sisters Felicia Ezeimo and Toyin Abegunde, for the companionship that we share in our community, for the little things we take for granted,  for the love and the hope that bind us together in coping with the challenges of the mission here in our mission land;  for the smiles and the energies put in, for the passion with which we have for the service of the poor;  for the expected courtesy, the kind deeds and the gentle hands that is ever ready to  reach out to help, thank you so much. Never to be forgotten is my deep appreciation to Srs. Elma Mary Ekewuba, Genevieve Eduk and Caroline Ngozi Aluka whose patience and tolerance enabled our shared community life akin to sailors in the same boat in the storming ocean. Thank you for your encouragement through these 25 years. May we never give up on each other in the years ahead as I also congratulate you! 

To Fr. Professor Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua, Director of the Department of Mission and Dialogue, Catholic Secretariat of Nigeria, Abuja, and Consultor of the Commission for Religious Relations with Muslims (CRRM), Vatican City, Rome, thanks for journeying with me through my years on mission, the joy of editing this work and for the encouragement. Thanks also for funding this publication. May your bread never be exhausted and may your oil never run dry. May God reward you abundantly!

Most Rev. Dr. Matthew Ishaya Audu, the Catholic Bishop of Lafia, thanks for the assistance you offered for this publication. May God in his infinite goodness reward you abundantly!

Many thanks go to my sisters in the community that I have share life with and all the persons that we have served God in the community together and in all the places of our apostolate. Special thanks to Sr. Christina Quinn who in my first approach to the community received me with such love and openness. Thanks to Marie Zerbo, Noellie Nana, Traoré Edith for your companionship in the service of the sick poor.

The men and women out there in the four corners of the earth, thanks for letting me ‘touch’ you. Thanks to all my friends and well wishers out there in the course of my pilgrimage, we have crossed each other’s path in love. Thanks for the marks our encounters have left on me and you.

For those who have carved their imprint in my life and have left for the life eternal, know that you live always in my heart: my sisters -Agnes George, Comfort George; Clement Jacob and Sr. Christiana Mary Idem, may your gentle souls rest in the peace of heaven.  Pray for me and those you have left behind.

FOREWORD

The meaning of the word “mission” is “sent” and a missionary is one who is sent. God the father sent the Son, the Father and the Son sent the Holy Spirit who is the agent of mission. This gives mission a Trinitarian dimension. God the son reveals the Father; the Holy Spirit reveals Jesus Christ while the Holy Spirit is manifested to the world through our mission. In this powerful and short missionary testimony, our sister, Esther Nsebong Ekpo (DC), opened to her readers the door of faith in this year of faith. It is not a mere coincidence that the silver jubilee of her Religious life coincides with the year of faith. I therefore congratulate her for the fruitful twenty five years of her missionary journey as a daughter of charity.

She introduces us to the book by setting the tune of her vision, mission and specific objective. Her key performance indicators (KPI) reveals that her vision is to motivate her readers with personal testimonies; her mission is to be a light to those around her akin to the rising sun and her objective is to lead her readers to salvation. These she summarised in the song which she has made her own: “I know nothing of tomorrow, except the love of God” that will rise “before the sun”.

This brings to mind the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales: Yesterday is gone and never to return, tomorrow is God’s secret, only today is mine. This sacrament of the moment is couched in the Lord’s Prayer: “give us this day our daily bread”. This is the true meaning and value of the mission of a missionary whose self-abandonment gives a divine inspiration and motivation. This indeed is the best way to witness to the reality of our mission ad intra and mission ad extra. This same mission is a call for leaving behind the familiar shores to wherever God gives the lead in the call to leave our boat behind on familiar shores to set our hearts upon the deep to follow the Lord. This message is incarnated in the author and she wishes to share this with the world especially in mission territories.

Sr. Ekpo locates her mission in the context of the poor and invites her readers to be missionaries in the act of touching the poor with love. She invites us to be God’s feet to walk to the poor and work with them; God’s eyes to see their needs and God’s voice to speak for these voiceless poor. Like the call of the young Samuel, our missionary vocation is to be prophetic to the extent that we can help others to discern the voice of God and follow the divine directives. This will enable those called to respond with the kind of fiat of Mary the chosen mother of our Saviour. Vocation is a call and the mystery of this call should invoke a continuous positive responds of YES to God. Once we give this response, God takes care of the rest.  The author is indebted to the parents especially her mother whom she wondered how she felt in sacrificing her to the mission to the poor in the congregation of the Daughters of Charity. I must say here that my experience with the Daughters of Charity when I was their parish priest at Ossiomo, Edo State, Nigeria confirms the testimony of the author.

The author invites us to journey with her to the psychiatry where she was in love with the mentally ill. She traced this journey to her primary school days with a particular encounter with the mentally challenged. Worthy of note is one of them who told her: “‘don’t run away from me, I will not hurt you, you are not like the others’.  She started her passion with these patients in her early days. No wonder she ended up a psychiatric nurse. See how we can identify our charisms and calling in our childhood!

The author pays special tribute to “the providence home” where she actually discovered her profession of nursing to the mentally challenged. To this home she rendered a beautiful eulogy akin to the Elizabethan and Shakespearean poets. Her real missionary preparation however was marked with inexplicable feelings.  This she attempted to capture in a poem: “Light of the Lord” akin to the “Lead Kindly Light” of Henry Cardinal Newman. This poem expresses her inner disposition in the initial longing to fathom the content of her heart and the meaning of her feelings. She is grateful to her spiritual directors and formators who assisted her to discern the voice of God to have a glimpse of where the Lord was leading her. She recalled her formative years in her family, her immediate environment, the ‘Blue Army Society’, the formative programme in Paris, her ten month’s preparatory programme for the mission in Nouna and other formative experiences. As usual she captioned these in the poem of Caroline Gavin (c May 2012), to express her inner disposition in a “purposeful pathway” which is taken step by step.

It appears that the ROSALIE HOME, ELEME was the actualization of the authors dream. Here she was practically with women who were mental patients. She was deprived of her privacy because the patients needed to be attended to on regular basis and some would even enter her living room. She ate and recreated with them to the extent that they formed a part of her life. Today, she can proclaim that without them, her history as a daughter of charity would not be complete. At Eeken in Ogoni land, her experiences where also tremendous in the fact that she discovered how people could suffer in the midst of plenty. The experience of Ogoni land can be summarised with the saying of the popular musician Bob Marley’s “rat race” that says, “in the abundance of water, the fools are thirsty” but the Ogoni people that produced Ken Saro Wiwa could not play the fool, hence the tragedy of Ken Saro Wiwa and the Ogoni nine. LIFE IN OSSIOMO was short and grace filled. However, the author was scared of this environment that was occupied by people affected by leprosy. The disfigurement of the extremities of the people by this illness really frightened her. She like a good missionary fought this fear and became a source of hope for the leprosy patients. In Ossiomo she was touched by the suffering of the people akin to that of Christ on the march to Calvary and the Cross. 

Her MISSION IN NOUNA started in April 2008 with the two weeks missionary orientation programme she had in Ewu monastery.  She testifies that the programme opened for the participants the aspect of mission outside one’s own country of origin. They were about 24 Religious and Priests preparing for missions to different countries. She recounts her journey to Nouna with Sr. Toyin Abegunde. Before going to Nouna, they left Nigeria on the 13^th day of September, 2008 for France for a one month programme of pilgrimage into their Vincentian heritage then the language programme in preparation for this mission in a French speaking country. They left Paris on the 4^th of August, 2009, arrived at Ouagadougou that same day, late in the evening. They slept in Ouagadougou that night. On the 5^th day of August, 2009 they made a journey that seemed endless on the rough earth road for such a distance of about 297km. This was her first missionary chock! The rest about Nouna is fully explicated in the book. The author concludes her narrative with a question: “WHERE IS GOD IN ALL THESE?” The God who calls you without you cannot save you without you. The author believes that if God gives an assignment, the same God gives the necessary graces to carry out the work. I congratulate Sr. Esther Nseobong Ekpo for allowing us access to her missionary experiences. I recommend this book to all Christians and those who care about mission, the poor and salvation.

Fr. Prof. Cornelius Afebu Omonokhua

Director: Department of Mission and Dialogue, Catholic Secretariat of Nigeria, Abuja

and Consultor of the Commission for  Religious Relations with Muslims (C.R.R.M), Vatican City, Rome

INTRODUCTION:

I have no intention of making an academic display through this writing. I have a desire to share my personal life experience with the world around me so that through these reflections:

·         Young people of this generation and the generations to come will be inspired to make life “a self giving” and a true sacrifice.

·         That the young families of today will see the need of family union and faith building.

·         That every male and female Religious will grow in the habit of seeing Christ in his or her missionary experience.

This book is to the glory of God a souvenir of my life as a Religious who through twenty-five years of living as a Daughter of Charity, has traversed the high waters and deep seas without giving up in the face of the challenges of life just because the good God who gives me the required support did not give up on me even in my frailty and frustrations. Yes the good God was always there in all my encounters so I pray that this little contribution may inspire all men and women of goodwill to see more value in all family bonds and the need for supporting the young to grow in faith. I pray that the young people may be motivated to be generous and serve those who are deprived of legitimate opportunities in our world today.

Invitation to respond to the call of God does not actually need too many words. In one of my vocation talks to the youths of my former parish, Asong in 1995 when His Lordship Most Rev. Dr. Joseph Ekuwem, bishop of Uyo diocese visited the parish, I only told them,  ‘come and see’, a reflection from the fourth chapter of the gospel of John. That short reflection was remarkable given the response of the youths thereafter. I pray that this little and short story may serve as an invitation to the readers of this book and all my young sisters and brothers. May they all respond to the call to serve the Lord in the ministries of the church!

Let these reflections serve as a means and medium of communicating my sincere gratitude and appreciation to the numerous people that I have encountered in my life in this journey to our eternal home.

May God bless you now and always!

1.         BEFORE THE RISING SUN

I love and enjoy singing. Music is the language of angels and the joy of life. My soul rejoices particularly in a verse from one of the songs of the Daughters of Charity; a song which depicts total abandonment and trust in His love and will; if we are led by the spirit of God the result is obvious love, joy, self abandonment etc. (Galatians 5, 21). Please sing with me this rhyming chorus:

“I know nothing of tomorrow,

Except the love of God will rise before the sun

The love of God will rise before the sun”.

Why this self-abandonment? Why yield to the divine inspiration? These are lifelong questions and answers and may not be able to bring out explicit answers, but in loving relationship with God, one can attempt to say: ‘I abandon myself to God, let him use me as he will, to bring his purposes to fulfilment. When God’s purpose come to fruition in and with us or through us, we are encouraged to say with all humanity, ``we are merely servants, we have done no more than our duty’’ (Luke 17, 10). What a submission!

Submission and humility come to play in our lives when we have come to grasp the sense of the Divine Master of the Mission. Submission means living the song: “I know nothing of tomorrow except the love of God which will rise before the sun”. Submission calls for a yes like the YES of Christ the missionary per excellence whose yes for the salvation of humanity led him to the cross, death and the tomb but not without a resurrection. This is akin to the yes of the Blessed Virgin Mary – “behold the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me as you have said” (Luke 1, 36).

Submission according to oxford dictionary and thesaurus is ‘the act or an instance of submitting. It is humility, meekness, obedience. The purpose of submission is to bring to reality the sense of mission. One submits because there is a mission to be fulfilled. I submit to the higher or supreme being, submit to the authority. Submitting entirely to God for the fulfilment of the mission he has designed for me.

Mission in this context is referred to being sent to carry out a certain duty, being sent to do a particular task or goal assigned to a person or a group.  We become the messengers of the Divine.

The emphasis is on being sent; hence the person sent has a sense of duty because he is being sent by another, in this case, by the master, Jesus Christ. Jesus himself the first missionary who brought life to us , the Word of God, himself the Word made flesh, the bread of life, he sends us to the places he himself would be, so that we know that where he sends us, he is already there.

We the messengers, the servants, must go with humility, knowing that we are going there to meet the master. Yes, the master because he is in everyone we meet. As St. Vincent de Paul taught us the Daughters of Charity, to call the person in need the `master’, because ``we are merely servants and the poor will forgive us for the bread we give them’’. We go with a sense of duty because we are being sent. We go, carrying with us the gentleness of Christ.

Our sense of being sent should underline our life of servant hood.  We cannot go unless we are sent. Someone who is on errand knows that he has a mission to accomplish, has to give account of the mission to the missioner (the one who sends). The missionary gives account of the mission. Whatever the ordeal of the mission, the difficulties encountered, the good experiences like the apostles; the poverty of such journey; an account has to be given to the owner of the vineyard, the master of the field. Remember, the missionary is on a journey. The account or the feedback has to be given to the sender, the owner of the vineyard. The world is a vineyard where we are on mission, sent to go and cultivate. 

Akin to St. Paul the proclamation of the good news and the mission to the poor is an obligation that calls for query/punishment if it is neglected. What is this mission?

Mission is a task. It is an assignment, a delegation and a calling. Mission is a particular task or goal assigned to a person or group. It is a vocation.  Mission is to love our brothers and sisters as Christ loves us. The commitment and task of proclaiming the gospel belong to the entire church, entire human race, for the church is missionary by her very nature. It is to make Jesus known, visible, to make the redeemer’s face shine in every corner of the earth before the generation of the new millennium.

The love that we celebrate in the sacrament is not something we can keep to ourselves. By its very nature, it demands to be shared with all, and by so doing, our missionary spirit is ignited, sparked into flames that lightens the way for all to see; then the eyes of our hearts will widen its perspective to look upon the vastness of the mission to love, mission of love and this is what our world today is hungering for: God’s love made visible. The missionary challenge of the church invites us to go out to the ends of the world. Go out to others in and with love to let them see in us the gentle presence of Christ. The church’s mission challenges us to be missionaries. Being a missionary is being the ‘salt of the earth’ (Matthew 5, 13). It is giving taste to life around us. That means that the message I give should make life meaningful to my hearers. How can a missionary remain salt? Life becomes worthwhile when we deliver the very message that Christ sends us to preach and not our selfish message where we preach ourselves instead of the good news. We become salt of the earth when the good news is proclaimed to the poor, the downtrodden is uplifted, the prisoners receive the words of liberation and the blind people receive their sights.  These are the signs and indicators that the messenger, the missionary is giving taste to the tasteless world around him or her.    

On the other hand, what can make the salt lose its taste? The indicators could be when the missionary gets discouraged about the world around him/her; when the missionary no longer find meaning in her mission; when the initial enthusiasm is losing it flavour and the life giving presence is diminishing.  Yes there are a thousand and one things that a messenger of the Word encounters in the mission land and around him/her, but if these discouraging elements weigh down the zeal, the salt/life giving zest becomes tasteless. What good? It is only the grace of God that can lift up the spirit again, that can renew the zest and the taste.

A true missionary is one who trusts in God’s love and providence. He has confidence in him, and, as mere servant, knows that God has given him a commandment concerning his neighbours. Bearing this in mind will always lead him to the awareness that his actions and words are known and seen by God. A missionary knows that all he has are gifts from God; all his privileges are blessings from God and is challenged to put these gifts into use for the benefits of others.

Look at the story of the disciples on the road to Emmaus! They did not recognise Jesus resurrected from the dead. They were blinded by doubt, unbelief, and lack of faith. They did not understand the incident of the suffering of the King of Glory, the messiah. How can the saviour of the world suffer like this, died and now resurrected?

A true missionary believes in the power of the one who sends his disciples on mission. A missionary transcends the doubt into faith in the light of God’s spirit. He looks beyond the present and sees the unseen in faith. The disciples only recognised Jesus after the bread was broken. Something familiar had taken place, the identified manner of breaking the bread had just taken place and their eyes are opened, and they knew whom they have been discussing with. The manner in which Jesus broke the bread was special because it was the breaking of the bread that was himself; the breaking of the bread of life.

I can identify with the longing of the disciples, the opening of the eyes. Open our eyes Oh God, we want to see your son Jesus, to reach out and touch and tell him that we love him.

A missionary sees beyond the physical bread that is broken and sees the Eucharistic bread that is Jesus. This is what helped the two disciples to recognise Jesus. Their faith now could see beyond the man they had earlier accused of not knowing the recent happening in Jerusalem. Now they could see Jesus! They could hear him because they are now able to listen to him from their heart. Remember their “hearts burned within them as he talked to them on the road”. A missionary listens with the heart and ears and hears more deeply than the spoken words. Like these apostles, the missionary leaves all behind and follow the dictates of the Holy Spirit. Sing with me this song that depicts the leaving behind the familiar shores:

Deep within my heart I feel; voices whispering to me;

Word that I can’t understand; meanings I must clearly heart.

Calling me to follow close; lest I leave myself behind;

Calling me to walk into; evening shadows one more time

Ref: So I leave my boat behind; leave them on familiar shores.

Set my heart upon the deep; follow you again my Lord”

      

2.         COME TO ME

The mission to go and make the face of Christ shine in the world is a vocation. Those he chose he called, those he called, he justified (Romans 8, 30)

The mission of making the face of Christ shine in the world has to be done by you and I. God calls us each to be missionaries, to go and be his hands to touch the poor with love, his feet to walk with and to the poor, his eyes to see and make others see, his mouth to be the voice of the voiceless.

Just as he called the young Samuel, he calls you, he calls me. He called Samuel to announce to Saul the mission to accomplish with the Amelikites, to tell Saul where he went wrong in the course of his mission.

He called Mary and she gave a simple but powerful response with a word that expressed a total self-giving. At the Annunciation, Mary said yes when the angel came to her. Her yes is all embracing. Her yes is an affirmation to life; her yes is a commitment to service; her yes is a willingness to accept uncertainty and suffering in her life. Her example suggests the way in which we can learn to say yes to God.

Today, he calls me, he calls you. There are many phases of evangelisation. In these phases, he calls each to a particular phase. Know too that when he calls you for a particular aspect of the mission, you are the one to bring that to fruition with his graces bestowed on you.

Vocation is a mystery, a gift that one receives without fully understanding its implications or its demands, but which one receives with joy. When the inspiration comes, it is like cheer madness. One thinks of nothing else except the awesome feeling of joy of just being that which one dreams of. Usually the family in the persons of the parents or caretakers or someone significant offers other pleasurable choices but one drifts from these choices. Someone once expressed that vocation to missionary life is ‘an organised madness’. Jesus himself was seen as getting out of his mind by his family as he tries to respond to the demands of his mission. So we are not the first to be described as getting out of our minds.

Mary’s fiat, that is, her yes and positive response to the vocation of being a mother as a virgin without the cooperation of a husband and fully aware of the consequences made her the mother of God, the incarnate son, our Lord Jesus Christ. She expressed her gratitude to God for the graces to completely surrender her volition, her will to God.

Vocation is a call/response phenomenon. It is only when a person respond to the call to serve that we can say that a person has a vocation. This call/response is not a once and for all affair. It is a continuous and daily response to the one who calls. This explains Mary’s magnificat, an ancient Jewish song of praise, in honour of God who has done marvels for her and her Jewish people. Indeed, holy is the mighty name of God the author of missions. We are called daily to make this song our own because God has not stopped doing his marvels for us in our generation. The human race should arise and shout to the Lord the song of joy. The life of Mary is a model of vocation and an eternal celebration of life that was dedicated, consecrated and surrendered to God with her “YES”.  

Vocation is a gift for our personal sanctification and for the sanctification of others. Mary was told at the annunciation that the gift which will be given her was for the salvation of the world. Therefore, her ‘yes’ was for the benefits of all. We too are called to value the life of others; we do this not only with regard to our families only or those we live with but also with the people whom the Lord places in our path. We can say with St. Paul, I live not I but it is Christ that lives in me. If Christ lives in me, then my life will know no boundary in my submission to do his will, to reach the ends of the earth as he has already decreed by calling me to a mission that may take me to the ends of the earth and proclaim the good news.

3.   HERE I AM

“Here I am” a response given to a call. A call demands either a positive or negative response: I am here, I am coming or I will come or I will not come. In my context, like the prophets of old and the Blessed Virgin Mary, my response is “yes’, here I am send me.

The prophets responded to God’s call by ‘here I am’. The response “here I am” often comes with an enthusiasm, with the eagerness to leave everything and follow the direction of the call. Here I am a response of availability, a readiness to leave all and go. When God called the young Samuel, he thought it was Eli the priest who was calling him. His response however was, “here I am since you call me” (1^st Sam.3:6) Eli had to assist Samuel to identify the voice of God who was calling him. This means that in our vocation we need direction from a human agent to assist us in responding positively. We can only respond positively to a voice that we know and understand.

I believe that some of us at one time or the other has had such experience of being called. Some of us were enthusiastic in our response with a prompt willingness and detachment. When God calls, we sometimes respond with initial enthusiasm, even when we do not understand the implications of the call. We are happy because at the beginning we do not know the content and the implications. Perhaps we have been admiring others with similar pattern of life or we have nurtured within us some inspirational desires for such vocation. Very often God leads us gradually into the mystery of the challenges of our mission hence we need orientation and formation where we are guided to make a choice and a final yes to God. Although at the beginning we do not give any thought to the pains or to the challenges of the call, the journey itself later opens up and gradually become comprehensible because the call is not given once and for all. Every day, we get the call and every day we give a response to the beauty and the ugly of the call. Each challenge of the missionary pilgrim way helps us akin to the young Samuel to say “here I am” since you call me’.

I share this same notion or experience because when I felt called to mission; I desired nothing else more at that time than to dwell in God’s house. Whatever that meant was not important then, all I wanted was to do God’s will. My family had other designs and plans for me. There were other opportunities like going to school to study secular sciences and update my standard of education. But all I wanted was to be in God’s house, no matter what that entailed. Hence I turned down all offers. All I knew was the little voice within me that I can identify with one of the songs of the Daughters of Charity. Perhaps you can join me in the song:

 ¨Deep within my heart I feel, voices whispering to me, words that I can’t understand; meanings I must clearly hear; calling me to follow close, lest I leave myself behind; calling me to walk into, evening shadows one more time.

So I leave my boat behind, leave them on familiar shores; set my heart upon the deep, follow you again my Lord.

In my memories I know, how you sent familiar rains, falling gently on my days, dancing patterns on my pains; And I need to learn once more, in the fortress of my mind, to believe in falling rain, As I travel desert dry.

As I gaze into the night, down the future of my years, I’m not sure I want to walk past horizons that I know; but I feel my spirit called, like a stirring deep within, restless till I live again beyond the fears that close me in¨.

So I left, like others have done before me and even after me, following the deep silent voice that was persistent within. This stays on until there is a response, no matter how long. God is very patient. He waits for us eternally with love. I’m sure he does smile and laugh at our refusal to give him a prompt response for he knows he is all patient and is always ready to wait for us. This voice began making itself heard in my heart when I was in my second year in secondary school. Really I did not understand except to desire something which I could not explain to the one I shared my desire with. This was at the age of thirteen. I began to find peace and satisfaction in anything that concerned the house of God.

I want to thank my mother for the freedom she gave me to grow in this desire until it matured. Many times in my childhood days I got lost in the house not telling anyone what I was about or where I would go, but left quietly to the church and prayed, or sometimes go to do some cleaning in and around the church. My mother would look for me and come into the church where she would find me sometimes praying and she would join me in prayer, or sometimes sweeping the church and she would help me to lift those big and heavy long pews to enable me sweep under them very well.

As I am writing this piece, I wonder what she used to think of during those times. Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, she would ‘have pondered all in her heart’, for she said nothing to me about this, even till now. You know, in our responses to what we believe is our vocation, significant people in our lives suffer along with us, they journey with us even in silent accompanying.

Think of the Blessed Virgin Mary, journeying with Jesus to accomplish the designs of God, his missing in the temple, (Luke 2:43-45) his rejection by his people, taking him to have lost his mind, wanting to throw him down the cliff of his village by his native people, (Luke 4:30) and above all the painful journey to Calvary and his death, (Matt. 27). WOW OH!! That was too much a mother can endure. But Mary went through all these and pondered them in her heart. I can never recount all that I must have put my parents through, in the course of ‘leaving my boat behind’- responding to this call of God. But they stayed on in prayer.

4.   GOD IN THE PSYCHIATRY

‘IN LOVE WITH THE MENTALLY ILL’:

When I was in primary school, we used to see a few mentally ill persons along the road to our school. The distance to our school from my village was about two kilometres.  I was not lucky like the modern day children whose parents or the family drivers would take to school every day. We had to trek to school daily. It was a double journey if I had the misfortune of forgetting something at home. That means that if we meet a mentally ill patient on the road, we had to walk together sometimes with fear and some other times with fun. There were few occasions when they would even pursue us. I remember one hot afternoon when one of them pursued us. We all ran and in the process I fell down and he caught hold of me and said, ‘don’t run away from me, I will not hurt you, you are not like the others’. It was not funny even though he allowed me to go unhurt. This put me in a state of fright that remained with me for some time. Later I became used to this particular mentally ill person to the point that I started giving him some gifts. This experience could be one of the reasons why I created a space in my heart for the mentally ill. I actually developed some passion to love people with mental illness in the sacred space of my heart. I became empathic towards them. Later in my life, I discovered that those signs were acts of God calling me to mission to the mentally ill. Can you believe that when I finally responded to the desire for God’s house as a Daughter of Charity (DC), my first community had a home for the destitute and people with mental illness. I remembered and heard clearly the voice of my friend with mental illness: “Do not run away, you are not like the others, I will not hurt you”. What a dream come to reality! My affiliation began in earnest.  I spent my first week in the community caring for the people with mental illness. I began with the Sister directly responsible for their care, picking some whom we come across on the streets of Uyo to the centre, called ‘Providence Home’.

A TRIBUTE TO THE PROVIDENCE HOME:

Providence Home is the birthplace of my profession

A Nurse and especially as a Psychiatric Nurse.

Oh Providence Home,

Your name says it all.

A Home of the Providence of God.

Providence Home, Oh Providence Home,

How I love you.

For in you the broken members of the society find shelter.

                Oh Providence Home,

                Outwardly without beauty, without majesty the world see you

                No looks to attract the eyes of the world

                A thing despised and rejected by people

                  

                Yet the sorrow of the many rejected and homeless you bore

                You open you big heart in the wall of the fence surrounding Adiaha Obong

                And embrace the wondering people of God, ‘God himself’

                May your lovely door never close but open to embracing in love the destitute.

                

                Through you I dreamt out in reality the words of my friend on the road,

¨Do not run away, you are not like the others, I will not hurt you¨

Through you courage was given me to embrace you in the rejected

Through you Oh Providence Home I touched God

Thank you Providence Home for making a lasting mark in my heart

For creating a space big enough in my heart

To accommodate the people with mental illness

Even when it required the breaking of my ribs

I will never forget you

I will always love you

Long live Providence home

Long live the Daughters of Charity

5.   THE REAL MISSIONARY PREPARATION:

There are feelings the human mind cannot adequately express.  In trying to discover the finger of God writing on the crooked line that I can liken to my real being, given my weaknesses and inadequacies, I see my feeling of unworthiness as a sacred space for God to adequately transform me into his missionary instrument. Yet, I believe that Christ was within me trying to lead me through a process of formation. The radiant presence of God was there within me giving me some directives that I could only act in faith even though I did not understand. Like Abraham moving towards the promise land, I was only convinced of a safe arrival and not a smooth journey. But I was never alone on this missionary journey. My desert was filled with people who were ready to show the way in my formation.  The actors in the process of my initial formation were my parents, my family members, and the immediate environment. These were spring board from where I could lift and fly like the eagle to embrace a horizon that was mysterious and fascinating. These were God’s chosen instruments to lead me to where my young mind could not understand, the way in my mission to attain the divine vision. I ask for God’s blessings on each of my formators whom I now see as guardian angels. Now I can put my deep expressions in riddles and songs of different lyrics and rhyme as my young mind get more mature. Now I can take a step each day into the depth of my heart to rediscover myself as I encounter the “real me” with an identity that is totally God’s conscious in a sacred light that illumines the mind to see all things. Akin to the rising sun and the gentle moon, the following poem may to some extent express my inner disposition in the initial longing to unravel what has been within me.

Light of the Lord:

1    Sunlight streaming brilliant and warm;

Dancing through the trees while shadows do form;

Light and shadow; Darkness and day;

Both contrast and divide in a powerful way.

2    For God is light; he is radiant and pure;

In his brilliant Truth we can walk secure

In his light may we be, in his Truth remain,

 In the warmth of love, living never in vain

3     Let the sun light warm, let it pour in your heart,

 Let its brilliance embrace that from God that you never part

You may walk in valleys of shadows of death;

You will fear no evil for light sustains breath

4    As shadows are nothing, forms without light

Shapes without substance; dark as the night

Fear not then the shadows, covers not in trial,

Cringe not in the darkness, light remains all the while

5    For if Christ is within you, light lives in your soul;

      It brings you life eternal; it uplifts and makes whole

Celebrate then Christian; rejoice in the glorious light;

 As the sun rises in the east, praise God for the sight

6    See his message in the beams; see his word in the sun rays

See his gospel in the sun as its light speaks of his ways

And let the sun light warms, let it pour in your heart

Let its brilliance embrace that from God you never part

The above poem expresses my inner disposition in the initial longing to unravelling what was going on within me; in trying to discover the finger of God writing on the crooked line, which I am. For I believe that Christ was within me trying to lead me through a process of formation. The radiant presence of God was there within me giving me some directives that I could only act in faith even though I did not understand. All the actors in the process of my initial formation in my family and the immediate environment were chosen by God to lead me where my young mind could not understand. I ask for God’s blessings on each of them

Every act of formation is a preparation for mission, whether within or outside one’s own country of origin. The formation courses or seminars that I have undergone prepared me for missions. My initial discerning process that God led me through in my young age was in itself a formation process. The faith activities I was involved in my home, my parish were all formation and faith building for me.

Family prayer together is such a binding force in the family. It is one of the key faith buildings of the family, the gift that the parents could give the children. That for me was the foundation. It was at times like this in the family that we learnt to recite the different psalms for different situations of life.  I remain grateful to my parents for this precious gift. Each of them has a unique way of imparting in me the practice. Through this milieu, we were able to know the psalms for morning and evening prayers. The home based prayers lunched us into the different societies in the church. The one and only active prayer group in my parish then was the ‘Blue Army Society’. We had the adults group and the youth group called ‘Children Cell’ which I was a member

We were and still are the children of Mary and as a witness to her maternal care she stood by us. Mary fought the battle for her children who cling to her. Mary’s life challenged us to be charitable to the poor, to be close to the infirm. Mary is close to the broken hearted. I remain ever grateful to my parents who granted me the needed opportunities to be available to the works of the church at my early years till at last they gave me totally to God for the church’s mission.

For me, those acts were formative accompaniment. These supported my faith formation and building to a mature stage when even at my young age, I could make an option for a life like this, a life of discipleship, total giving of self to the services of those in need. The background of my faith building was my family, and that I appreciate and really in sympathy for most young families today that lack the basic faith accompaniment and building. This recalling of my life history is to encourage the young families of today to wake up to the reality of family building in faith and love, in praying together, in accompanying the young to discover the value of family togetherness; to discover their mission in life; to discover their vocations, for this is one of the missionary preparations. It is vital.

My life as a Daughter of Charity is in itself a life of formation. The community exercises and challenges are in themselves formation programmes. Faith sharing exercises and community living has formed my person; given me an identity that has lasting mark in me as a person. Right from my young age when I left my home and family to the land I believe God pointed out for me, a new home as he did to Abraham, I have received love and open heart. There I made a tent for the Lord. And ever since then we dwell together.  Like the pot in the potter’s hands I remain there with all my beauty and fragility. There I receive love and pruning; taming and remoulding. The formation programmes all added their effects to the beautiful vessel you see today. I can never forget the experience of the formative programme in Paris.  My ten month’s preparatory programme for the mission in Nouna was full of rich experiences. The different cultural background of the sisters from different parts of the world added the beautiful cultural dimension. The interaction with the people of different social/cultural and even religious background was a preparatory programme in itself. The language inadequacy explained my vulnerability and put me in a dependency position. In it all, there was always a God sent to come to our rescues in term of interpretation.

I find so much meaning in the poem of Caroline Gavin (c May 2012), this poem expresses my inner disposition in the following of God in the path he marked out for me. He created me for a purpose and that with him and in him can that purpose come to reality and fruition. And so the formative programmes that I have been privileged to undergo are the expressions of the purposeful pathways that have been designed from all eternity as far as my vocation is concerned. The twists and turns, the beautiful flowers, and persons lining this purposeful pathway have only played their parts to bringing the journey through this path more meaningful. So join me to prayerfully recite this poem.

PURPOSEFUL PATHWAY:

Step by step, day after day,

I traverse with my Lord this purposeful pathway.

Grateful I am for this holy ground

Which by his grace I have wonderfully found

Plush and green it is lined with trees

And fragrance of flowers dances in the breeze.

Adoring the path too are waterfalls and fountains

Rushing rivers and streams and the majestic mountains

Birds soar in the sky, they sing this song

Glory, Glory, Glory to God on this path you belong.

For my Savior Himself planted this path for me

This purposeful pathway he planned from eternity.

The twists and turns, intentional are they

All is ever perfect in the Lord’s pathway.

The trees standing tall, towards heaven stretch high

Remind me to embrace my Lord to me nigh.

The colorful gardens yes, each vibrant flower

Remind me of my Jesus and his beautiful power.

The waterfalls and the fountains with rushing water pure

Remind me of Living Water, God gives Life to endure.

The view from the mountain, towering in its height,

Lifts my soul to Heaven makes my heart take flight.

Even in the cold corners and the damp, dark valley

I marvel how the Lord’s light my eyes always see.

Jesus, take my hand, I follow wherever you go

On mountaintop and in the valley your eternal love does show.

Each step that I take Beloved, I take for you;

I offer you all I am, all I say, think and do.

No sweeter gift to me than to travel hand -in-hand;

No greater purpose for me than to travel as you planned.

My will is one with yours, for You, I long to please,

I shall travel anywhere, mountains, valleys, seas.

This pathway of purpose my heart does treasure;

To do the will of my Lord, this is my good pleasure.

So rejoice with birds, I shall with their song;

Glory, Glory to God, on this path I belong.

I marvel at this way beautifully lined with trees;

And the fragrance of flowers dancing in the breeze.

I delight in traversing this holy ground;

I delight in my Lord’s voice; how sweet the sound.

Yes, step by step, day after day;

I cling to your hand, Jesus,

On this purposeful pathway

By Caroline Gavin c May 2012

6.   ROSALIE HOME, ELEME

Living and working with the women having mental health problem was another challenging experience in my life of mission; a life that explains to me a state of total nothingness except in God. Even the room that is the only private place for us was not that private, because, sometimes the women would wander into the rooms when not locked. We ate together, prayed together and recreate together. The therapies we carried out in the daily programmes were carried out in collaboration with and for the women who benefited the programme in the centre. They formed a part of my life, my history, without them my life as a daughter of charity is not complete. My identity, my person is linked up with the people that have mental illness; I am because they are. We as Daughters of Charity believe that our existence is largely formed in the people living in poverty. In other words, we are because they exist.

The Rosalie Home is a house specially built and dedicated for the group of people with mental ill health who are picked from the streets of the cities. They are destitute. They are brought to the home for psychiatric treatment. They follow certain therapies for their health with a view to rehabilitating them to fit into a normal style of life. They go through counselling sessions and procedures for this rehabilitation session. Later, when we discover where they naturally come from, visits to the families are done to reuniting them back to their families. Most are very successful. Those whose families would not accept and those who are not able to identify their homes continue to stay in the Rosalie home. This in a sense has become their home till the day God want them back in heaven. Many, while following a rehabilitation process are encouraged to do some skill acquisition programmes for their independent living in the areas of soap making, fashion and designing, petty trading etc.

7.   EEKEN – OGONILAND:

Arrival in Ogoni land was full of apprehension. This remote land that is so rich in natural resources yet deprived of the benefits that the land produces is the home of Ken Saro Wiwa. This is just to show that the land with her ancient history could invoke some fear and prospect. However, the newly established clinic was wonderful. That I was going to minister to the sick there was a boost to my ego. I found strength in caring for the sick. It was here that in my nursing carrier, I risked my life to save lives. My fellow sisters were a great support. We were filled with the zeal to do all we could to save lives. No sickness was foreign to any of us or was too dirty to attend to. With the increasing challenges, we had so much to do. Tired though we were sometimes, we were always ready to attend to any case that might come. Night or day, we were always on call. Where the energy came from was not to be sought for; he who is the Lord of the vineyard was always there to give the needed strengths/energies.  I want to express my appreciation to my companions and collaborators in the field. It was a team that one enjoyed working with. I missed them when I left that part of the mission. To this team I say: You are always in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and your families.

I want to acknowledge those nurses’ assistants that we formed in the process of our services to the persons who were ill. They were determined and they got the training, and are now working in the different clinics around the area. When it comes to life, we are really to be careful. These young people followed a tedious year program and achieved their aims. Congratulations!

Each day of my stay in Ogoni land was characterised by love for the common people and that was the driving force of my life. The patients were the sacrament of God’s presence that encouraged us to take so much risk in caring for the people. We were always faced with cases of accidents night and day. Our best were always put forward.

There were always sad incidents and moments of fun .The mixture of both made life worth living for these were occasions for reflection. We were always ready for sacrifices for the sake of saving lives. Many times we had to donate blood to patients who were suffering from   anaemia. I remain grateful for these opportunities. They are rare treasures.

8.   LIFE IN OSSIOMO

Behold another experience in the path of the mission history! It was a short stay in Ossiomo yet with a very rich experience. I arrived at Ossiomo with certain apprehensions. I was apprehensive because I was going to live and work in an environment occupied by the people affected by leprosy. The disfigurement of the extremities of the people by this illness frightened me.  Now I had to fight my fears and be a sign of hope to these people. How do I cope? I had to resolve to pray that I be a sign of consolation for them and they will be Christ in the Stations of the Cross to me. The extent at which I am touched by the suffering of Christ on the road to Calvary, they be that for me, that their suffering will draw my love for them more and more. Yes, it worked out for me. That coloured my vision, that I see no other but Christ in them, in the disfigured faces, arms and legs.

The services to the people with visual impairments were another challenging aspect of the mission in the centre. I could give the last strength in me in order to restore sight. It was a satisfying and fulfilling service, when one could see immediate results and positive ones at that. The depressing aspect was the cases of complicated glaucoma. Yet in this, one tried to be a sign of hope to the one who has lost hope in life due to poor or no physical visual capacity.

Identifying with the suffering of those with orthopaedic problems was another rich experience though very traumatic. The young people with physical disabilities flog into the centre for corrective surgeries. After the surgeries, we had to follow up the actual nursing care and the physiotherapeutic sessions with them. Not easy, but when successful, it worth the trouble.

What can I say to the Lord who has been there with me all through these journeys? Like the psalmist, I will lift up the cup of salvation; I will call on the Lord’s name. (Psalm 116:13)

There were however many challenges in Ossiomo mission. The saying that we are pilgrims comes true in the life of a missionary. Jesus was seen here and there to attend to the needs of his presence in the lives of the people who needed him for healing of mind and body, to proclaim the kingdom of God.

Yes we who are his followers are always on a journey. Today we are found here; tomorrow we are seen in another part of the world.

This journey to follow Christ has led me to many parts of the globe. The love of Jesus urges us on. This is the logo of the Daughters of Charity. ``Caritas Christi urget nos’’ Falling in love with God has led me to opting for a training in the field of psychiatry as a psychiatric nurse in Ireland. In the process of this training, I discovered that I was studying myself. It was a self revealing study. I appreciated those years of training, difficult as it was, for it was a study of humanity in its entirety – the normal and the abnormal, according to human reckoning.

In psychiatry I came to realise the interconnectedness of a person to environment on the human level, to environment as nature. The good that is done to the natural environment affects the human person positively and vice versa; the ill that is done to environment affect the human person negatively and vice versa.

The healthier we keep the human person, the healthier we keep the environment and this goes round, hence our psychological wellness. Why am I bringing in this psychological aspect? It is in connection to our lives as pilgrims. We belong to where we are at a given time and as such, a given environment shapes us at that given time.

When I was in Uyo – the land of my birth, I was a real Akwa Ibomite. My living and studying in Ireland also has a positive effect on my life. My interactions with people of another environment widened my horizon to human environment. And I believe that those I lived and interacted with also have some effect of my presence, positively or negatively. And so life goes on.

9.     MISSION IN NOUNA:

Nouna mission started in April 2008 with the two weeks preparatory programme that we had in the monastery at Ewu. The programme opened for us the aspect of mission outside one’s own country of origin. We were about 24 Religious and Priests preparing for missions to different countries.

Countries and cultures may be different; the facts about mission or evangelisation remained relatively the same with the different phases of challenges. The fact of different people with different cultures going to meet other different people with different cultures is an aspect of mission and it is a very rich experience.

The journey to Nouna took its turn when Sr. Toyin Abegunde and I left Nigeria on the 13^th day of September, 2008 for France for a one month programme of pilgrimage into our Vincentian heritage then the language programme in preparation for this mission in a French speaking country.

We left Paris on the 4^th of August, 2009, arrived at Ouagadougou that same day, late in the evening. We slept in Ouagadougou that night. On the 5^th day of August, 2009 we made a journey that seemed endless on the rough earth road for such a distance of about 297km. First chock!

Arrived at Nouna in the diocese of Nouna on August 5, 2009 during the heart of the rainy season where everywhere was so muddy with the ponds all over the place. It was the holiday period and many people have gone on holidays. It was such a lonely time with no one to show us around the town even where to buy simple things around. As independent women, we tried to find out things by ourselves, but it was not just easy. We remain really grateful to the security man of the seminary where we are living till our house will be ready. The simplest things that we needed, he got for us. We did not understand why people did not come to greet us as new comers. We thought that we were not welcomed, but that was not the meaning. The tradition holds that when a new person arrives, it is the person that has to go round to visit the neighbours and inform them that he/she has arrived; then the people will come to visit and welcome him/her. We did not know this. It was an experience! Another Shock!!

We had no means of transport to move around. We did a lot of trekking to the places we had to go; to the market, the shops, the church, to visit the sick/poor etc. We go to the market to buy the needed food stuff holding them in our hands and worked back home. Here the possible means of transportation are the bicycles, the carts with the donkeys. So the people kept going their way passing us by and we kept going our way matching with our bags.

On two occasions, I had stopped bikes to carry me home, even intended to pay but it was a fun to them. They laughed at me saying ‘oh she is from Kotonu, they do bikes business there’. After, I was carried home on the bike with my bags free, no payment.

                    One day, I went to the market and bought some tubers of yams and had them in a         polythene bag, with the other things I had bought that same day. I was struggling to go home with those things in my hand and barely could walk with them, when a Muslim man came by, stop his bicycle and helped me to gather things together and when he realised that the bag was fragile, he suggested that I should buy a stronger bag to put those yams. He took the money from me, went back into the market, bought the bag, returned to where I was waiting for him and arranged my things into the bag and mounted it on his bike and walked with me home. For me alone with those things it would have been another thing altogether. This is a charity, I cannot forget.  May God bless the good Burkinabe I met that day.

We carried on like this till until one good day when the diocese brought us a bike for health services, of which I would be using to go into the villages for health sensitisation. You can imagine the joy that day. A motor cycle with us! It was like winning a lottery! That same day, I went to the market on bike, bought some tubers of yams, chickens etc and attached them on the bike. This time around, no trekking with the bags and things in my hands and shoulders!

(The picture of the bike with the chickens)PA020174

My life in nouna has opened my horizon to the reality of life beyond just the little familiar and maybe comfortable corner that I knew. From then, we had to plan our outing with the bike so that each of us can use the bike for the different needs of the apostolate. Initially, there were occasions when I would go out to the villages for sensitisation programme and in the evening, Sr. Toyin would go to other villages for discovering the children with disabilities in connection with Lillian Foundations to help rehabilitate these children. The same machine was used too for other distance visits to the people living in poverty as well as the needs of the community. We coped with this until later in the year we could get other means of transportation to serve the needs of the apostolate. Do you know that back home; I would be so shy to carry things like this? I would think that they should be covered. Here I do not even think that people will laugh at me. This is what St. Paul said: “I have made myself all things for all people, in order to win at least a few souls to the Lord” (1Corinthians 9, 22).

Our arrival in Nouna in the heart of rainy season put us in the real picture of what we were going to see in the subsequent years. Each day’s rain intensified the flood in the region and in the nation in general. As it rains, with the high levels of water in the farm lands, the crops were destroyed, mud houses were falling and this brings to life for me the story in the gospel of St. Matt. 7:24-27. Is that what it really is? We went out a few times to see some of the affected sight in our locality.

Share the sight with me (picture IMGP 2128)

Each day, the gravity of the poverty of the area unfolds as we encounter the people. Each day we ask the question, what do we see in the suffering of the people? Does it mean that God has abandoned his people? For when one looks around at the natural things of life, it seems not to have favoured the people. If it is not flood, it is drought, or the birds in millions come and eat the crops when the harvest time approaches.

When the rains come, there comes the flooding, when there is no rain oh the scourging dryness and heat, the drought! Oh God where are you? Question like this comes to mind. But God could just look at us and even love us more. That we need to discover! How?

Oh Nouna, how I love you even with all the poverty. Do you know that God has used you to teach the world the principle of generosity, of sharing? Each year with these natural lacks of food and the basic human needs through the natural disasters of flooding and drought, people all over the world think and plan on how to reach out to you and many other countries in distress. What do we do in return? What is God telling us in general? How do we raise our heads up straight above our shoulders? Let us reflect together! The poverty of these basic human needs can teach us to be creative, to be inventive, and to reach out to others in need around us. Our experience can teach us to be more compassionate towards others in need as we reflect with St. Paul  “through our suffering we may learn to bear the suffering of others, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God” (Philippians 3,10).

The major problem of poverty of health is the lack of funds to go to the hospital for treatment. The frustration due to lack of money to go to the hospital was one thing and the system of going to hospital for treatment was another frustration.  And here am I with little French and poor knowledge of this system. I saw myself in an attempt to help the sick poor, going to the hospital sometimes two to three times a day with the patients because I had not the permission to prescribe or even give medicine, and I could not just refer even though I am a qualified nurse.  My helpless situations spurred me to quick action. I had to find a way out to be able to relieve the health problems of the number of people I encountered as I go into the villages for sensitisation. I wrote a letter to the chief medical officer of the District asking for permission to carry out primary health care services.  The suffering humanity had no idea what I was going through. The people in need of assistance kept coming in to the house demanding care and help. And in situations like these, I kept wearing myself out carrying the patients to the hospital for treatment until I got this permission.

Why did I have to be going myself with the patients to the hospital and not them going as they wanted? The system here is that a patient has to first of all go to the CSPS (centre social et promotion sanitaire) Simply put, clinic!  where if need be he will be referred to the CMA (Centre Medical with surgeries and specialties) or he will be treated. I could not just carry out referral services because the diocesan health centre that we were trying to build up was not yet registered with the state and so regarding nursing practice, no one knows my identity. The CSPS is a bit out of the town of Nouna. This was frustrating at the beginning!

Life in the beginning was not easy! Do you know what kept us alive? It was the hope that it will be okay one day. It was the love for the poor that gave us encouragement. It was the love for the mission. The experience of poverty around; the poor sick and the malnourished children; the children with special needs as we discovered them in the interior villages; pushed us to making several appeals to our larger community for assistance. . These were the driving force for seeking ways of relief for those afflicted by these ills.

My experiences of the children suffering from the menace of malnutrition were so shocking but rich experiences. The feeling that I could erase this from these poor innocent children, oh! I began with the two women animators to be going into the villages and carrying out sensitisation and diagnostic services.

                                    

Each outing we could encounter five to ten children who actually suffer the problem of malnutrition. Our initial outing covered five villages and then as we went on we added more five in an attempt to reach out to as many villages as we can, so as to sensitise people about the basic health strategies and particularly the problem of malnutrition. It was a rich experience for me.

                                                  

10. WHERE IS GOD IN ALL THESE?

The catechism of the Catholic Church teaches us that God is everywhere. Yes, it is true. God is in every person we encounter, in everywhere we find ourselves, in his creatures.

St. Vincent de Paul teaches us the Daughters of Charity that we find God in every poor person. We encounter God in the Eucharist, in prayer in the chapel/church. He said that ‘if we encounter a poor person twenty times, twenty times we encounter God’.

Have we the eyes that are open to see or as Christ admonished his apostles ‘have you eyes that do not see, or are your minds closed’(Mark 8,18)

Christ teaches us that in ‘’as much as we show kindness to these least of his brethren, we do that to him’’ (Matthew 25, 40)

This calls us to open mindedness. Open heart

Seeing God in the menace of malnutrition! Why are these poor children suffering? We are not going into the causes of malnutrition, but just have this in mind that the big umbrella cause of malnutrition is POVERTY. Poverty in diverse forms: ignorance of the basic health strategies, poverty of the home and nutrients managements even with the very little that we have.

When we are able to see God in his creatures that we encounter each day, we will be moved to love them, seek ways of relieving their suffering. I invite you all to learn to see God in the neighbour, even the very ugly, or the beautiful, the dirty or the neat one; the normal or the abnormal; those that move about the street in dirty shabby clothing or the naked. They too have something great to offer. We can learn from the mentally unwell some aspect of gentleness, how to enjoy funs or humour, to take on day at a time, to learn to trust in the God of Providence.

We can learn to see God in the malnourished or the physically or mentally handicapped, for they too are made in the image and likeness of God. They have souls like you and I. Remember, ‘there go I, only by the grace of God’.

   

BACK COVER:

COMMENTS:

I want to thank Sr. Esther for this reflection on her vocational journey so far. It is inspiring and revealing. The cardinal message being that God is the master of mission. He calls and he directs.
What is most intriguing is that the missionary Esther we have today identifies her inspiration in the early formation she received especially from parent and teachers. So what is in her is a gift through time.
She does not regret any moment in her life journey but has always discovered the hand of God leading and guiding. Poetically and in a simple style Sr. Esther narrates her story of encounters with the God of history in the poor. To crown her story up she confirms that it is grace that has led her thus far. Whether mission ad intra or ad extra it requires openness and dialogue the culture of the people. Sr. shares this as she narrates her experience in the mission at Burkina Faso. In the words of Sr. Esther a missionary sees beyond the physical bread that is broken but discovers Christ and his grace in her mission and could say there go I but the grace of God. This is a good mission testimony

       (Rev Fr Linus Umoren cm. Director of Formation Congregation of the Mission, Nigeria)

 

I find this journey through a memory lane or the river of life a very fascinating one. The author has taken time to reflect deeply and yet with a childlike simplicity on the seed of vocation in her life and how this was first nurtured by the family; the docility to the mystery of the mission, and the different encounters at different apostolic experiences to enhance a faithful response to the call of God. This journaling has been written with a deep sense of integrity overlooking or even detached to some extent from the human elements which at sometime attempted to thwart the first favours or dampen the initial zeal of the vocation and how these were overcome in the process of discovering the will of God in all things.

(Sr. Francesca Edet, DC- Province of Nigeria)